Tag Archives: Bond Girls

Celebrate in Style: NYE edition!

Well Bond fans, I don’t know what my New Year’s Eve has in store. But in the event that I have a smashing party to attend, I know where to look for some quality style inspiration for dresses, hair, makeup, jewelry and accessories.

Wondrous Whites

Miranda Frost

Miranda Frost

Tracy Di Vincenzo

Tracy Di Vincenzo

Solitaire

Solitaire

.

.

.

.

.

.

Belle Blues

Tracy Di Vincenzo

Tracy Di Vincenzo

Fiona Volpe

Fiona Volpe

.

.

.

.

.

.

Ravishing Reds

18994034.jpg-r_760_x-f_jpg-q_x-xxyxx

Lupe

Elektra King

Elektra King

Solange

Solange

Sylvia Trench

Sylvia Trench

.

.

.

.

.

.

Black Beauties

Vesper Lynd

Vesper Lynd

Severin

Severine

Paris Carver

Paris Carver

.

.

.

.

.

.

Plum Paramours

Plenty O'Toole

Plenty O’Toole

Vesper Lynd

Vesper Lynd

577882_571393082875607_1378541194_n

1 Comment

Filed under Uncategorized

Celebrate Bond in Style

When I learned this morning that Friday, October 5, 2012 has been named Global James Bond Day, I immediately announced to everyone in earshot that I would be taking the day off. Wishful thinking.

Unfortunately, I work that day, I have plans that night, AND I work all weekend–bottomless martinis and Bond films are out of the question.

So how will I celebrate such a momentous occasion within the confines of Corporate America? Treats, obviously. But I bring treats for anything, so that’s hardly special. Posters? But of course. Although they won’t stand out since I already have a Skyfall poster and picture of Sean Connery from Diamonds are Forever in my cube. Happy hour? You better fucking believe it. Maybe even a liquid lunch. But none of those things are enough.

But going to work dressed like Bond girls for the whole week sure as shit should do the trick. (And I’m missing Halloween this year–I really love costumes and playing dress up [kinky!]–so this should appease that, too.) I told my boss, who promptly and wisely told me to be “work appropriate” with my outfits. While I was already thinking of going the evening gown route (because we all know there are more formal dresses and bikinis than anything else in Bond films), and trying to channel Sylvia Trench’s shirt + heels, to keep it proper I’ll celebrate with more suitable selections.

Monday: Like a Boss [Judi Dench as M]

Tuesday: Bad in Black [Tilly Masterson, Xenia Onatopp, Wai Lin]

Wednesday: Buttoned Up [Vesper Lynd, Solitaire, Natalya Simonova]

Thursday: The Icon [Pussy Galore and fliers, Tracy di Vincenzo, Jenny Flex]

Friday: Global James Bond Day [Lois Maxwell as Miss Moneypenny]

 Per usual, I’ll be sporting these expressions as I work:

I have a bow tie and shaker that I’m also working into the equation. It’s shaping up to be a fantastic holiday. 

Oh, and can we give a shout out to the sometimes necessary evil called workplace seduction, via The Living Daylights? I feel about that sexy in my PB black tee.

5 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

Nailed It

Is it as ridiculous as having a secret panel in your office where you plan your robberies? […] I’d say that’s pretty ridiculous. Though not as ridiculous as Denise Richards playing a nuclear physicist named Christmas Jones in a Bond movie.

-Shawn Spencer, Psych Season 2, Episode 8 “Rob-A-Bye Baby”

My thoughts, exactly. That is the most ridiculous thing in the history of ever.

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

Skyfall

Here’s the deal: Since I petitioned for Talulah Riley to be Bond Girl 23 and gasped about the villain queries, a lot has happened. EON went bankrupt/up for sale, and the 23rd film was practically killed and then brought back to life. Pins and needles, folks.

Last week, they had the official press conference to kickoff filming.

A portion of the cast gathered for the Skyfall press conference

Now, I am a vocal Craig hater, so I hate to admit this, but I am SO FUCKING STOKED for the next Bond film “Skyfall.” Here’s why:

  • Judi Dench is back as M
  • Javier Bardem is the confirmed villain
  • Ralph Fiennes is a confirmed actor, rumored villain
  • Naomie Harris (Calypso in the POTC trilogy) is a Bond ally
  • “Skyfall” is NOT a continuation of the “Casino Royale” – “Quantum of Solace” duo
  • Sam Mendes is an Academy Award winning director (this is a first for Bond)
  • French actress Berenice Marlohe is the Bond Girl (and wonderfully reminiscent of Sophie Marceau as Elektra King)
  • Conflicting rumors say this film is “action packed” and “action lacked” meaning it should finally have the right amount of action
  • Adele is rumored to be a contender for the theme song

After all the mishaps and injuries during production of “Quantum of Solace,” it will be interesting to see if the ghosts of Bonds past accept “Skyfall” and let the actors and crews film with ease (it is fully my belief they were trying to prevent that travesty from ever reaching the screen). Release is set for November 2012. Don’t let me down.

 

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

Bond Girl 23

With the release of Bond 23 set for November 9, 2012, it’s officially time to keep a close eye on the web for juicy info. Although I generally despise Craig’s Bond, I need this film to play tiebreaker in my kind-of-like vs hate debate.

There’s plenty of gossip already, but what we know is that Sam Mendes is director, Judi Dench is M, and Craig is Bond. What I want to know, though, is who will be Bond Girl.

I’ve crossed a few sources who say Craig’s girlfriend, Rachel Weisz, is on the shortlist. This is most unfortunate news for many reasons–like she’s too old. However, other reports suggest she will be the head of the ubiquitous crime syndicate in Craig’s first two films. This I like. And it keeps Bond Girl 23 open.

Let me introduce my candidate. She’s sexy. She’s 25. She’s British. She’s relatively unknown. She’s coy. She’s killer as both a blonde and brunette.

Talulah Riley

 

Talulah Riley. Click the photo for more images from her UK Esquire shoot.

 

May the Bond gods hear my plea. She’s fucking fantastic.
[And the fucking has really been lacking in the last two movies.]

2 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

Best of Bond: Girls and Allies

BEST BOND GIRLS

1. Tiffany Case (Diamonds Are Forever)
2. Jinx (Die Another Day)
3. Fiona Volpe (Thunderball)
4. Tracy Di Vicenzo (On Her Majesty’s Secret Service)
5. Pussy Galore (Goldfinger)
6. Vesper Lynd (Casino Royale)

Jill St. John as Tiffany Case in "Diamonds Are Forever"

Tiffany Case has attitude. She’s sassy, impromptu, and always looks out for herself. Plus, she slept with Bond in the aquarium/tub. Hot. Jinx was not only a momentary (badass) throwback to Honey Ryder, she’s hot, tough, and had the sexiest Bond bedroom scene to date. Fiona was more successful at SPECTRE work than any other henchmen in Thunderball. She’s fierce and a looker, which helps make her far more intimidating than Emilio Largo. And she died in Bond’s arms. As much as I hate that Bond married Tracy, I have to give the girl props. She’s the kind of girl any guy would want: independent, hard to get, attractive, wealthy, and she never nags. Pussy (pronounced by Sean like “pooh-see”) is a big part of Goldfinger. Auric Goldfinger’s plan revolves around her as much as Bond’s counterplan does. She’s smart, mixes business with pleasure, and her name is Pussy Galore for god’s sake. Vesper is the only girl to outplay Bond. She’s as cold-hot as Bond, and she used Bond for personal motives, much like he does with his women.

WORST BOND GIRLS

1. Christmas Jones (The World Is Not Enough)
2. May Day (A View To A Kill)
3. Mary Goodnight (The Man With The Golden Gun)
4. Helga Brandt (You Only Live Twice)
5. Miranda Frost (Die Another Day)
6. Bibi Dahl (For Your Eyes Only)

Richards as Christmas Jones in "The World Is Not Enough"

Christmas: Denise Richards as a nuclear scientist in a cut-off tank and short shorts? Eeewww. And the “I thought Christmas only came once a year” pun? Sick. May Day is easily the scariest looking person to ever appear in a Bond film. Goodnight has very low intelligence (and standards). She tries to play hard to get, but ends up sleeping in Bond’s closet while he bangs another girl. And she still wants him. How does she work for MI6? I’m sorry to be superficial, but Helga is simply ugly and weird. Miranda is a wolf in sheep’s clothing–and it doesn’t work for her. She’s still unattractive and lacking a personality. Bibi is not actually a Bond Girl because it would have been illegal for James to sleep with her–hence the nod to baby doll. And she’s simply whiny and annoying.

BEST BOND ALLIES

1. Q (regular)
2. MoneyPenny (regular)
3. Tiger (You Only Live Twice)
4. Quarrel (Dr. No)
5. Jack Wade (Goldeneye, Tomorrow Never Dies)
6. Sheriff J.W. Pepper (Live And Let Die, The Man With The Golden Gun)

Q in "Licence to Kill"

Disclaimer: I know M and Felix didn’t make the cut. But I only liked M played by Judi Dench, and Felix isn’t always great. The original really stuck with this character: Q was played by Desmond Llewelyn basically from 1963-1999. He is funny, smart, and always there for Bond–even when he’s abandoned by MI6. Q’s  parting “always have an escape plan” is Bond-movie gold. Lois Maxwell takes the cake as the best MoneyPenny, and much like her character type, I prefer a MoneyPenny that flirts and swoons over Bond–not the ones that sass back all the time. Tiger said, “She is very sexiful,” my favorite Bond movie line, ever. I like their awkward “I love you” exchange, and the way he treats Bond. Poor Quarrel, he was loyal to Bond but died from that damned dragon monster he so feared. Jack Wade is the American CIA agent in a couple flicks, and he always makes cracks about our government. And Sheriff Pepper? Ultimate Southerner stereotype. Totally makes himself (and American tourists) look like an idiot in two movies. Awesome.

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

Best of Bond: Actors and Films

BEST BOND ACTORS

1. Sean Connery
2. Pierce Brosnan
3. Roger Moore
4. Timothy Dalton
5. George Lazenby
6. Daniel Craig

Connery as Bond in "From Russia With Love"

Sean and Pierce are both sexy. They exhibit the perfect balance between physical badass and charming yet sly sophisticate. Roger is no physical beast, but still the heartbreaker (in the films. Personally I do not find him attractive). And he delivers puns and innuendos in a distinct way. Timmy is neither sexy nor badass, but he plays the charmer well enough. I hate Daniel, and George is so-so. At least George plays a character-steady Bond. Daniel’s Bond sucks. Why? He doesn’t sleep with every female, he gets attached, he drinks martinis that are stirred, he fights too much and isn’t suave enough, his head is too small for his shoulders, and he doesn’t respect M. Plus his movies do not include Q or MoneyPenny.

BEST BOND FILMS

1. You Only Live Twice (1967, Connery)
2. Diamonds Are Forever (1971, Connery)
3. Goldfinger (1964, Connery)
4. Die Another Day (2002, Brosnan)
5. Licence To Kill (1989, Dalton)
6. Octopussy (1983, Moore)

"You Only Live Twice" 1967

YOLT is actually kind of terrible. It’s racist, jumpy, and the graphics are so bad. But I love it for those reasons, too, along with: Little Nelly, Q, James’ death opener, Blofeld and his strangely unattractive minions, man-eating piranhas, Bond’s accomplices, and a theme song later riffed by Robbie Williams in 1999.

DAF is set in Vegas and includes a hotel tub that doubles as an aquarium, Tiffany Case, a theme song retouched by Kayne, two awkward as hell gay bad guys, a girl named Plenty O’Toole, and the line “That’s quite a nice little nothing you’re almost wearing.” The opening with the theme song is the epitome of Bond openings: nudity and a relevant song.

G is classic Bond. It has many sexy women, female pilots who are later parodied as Femmebots in Austin Powers, a great song that’s rather annoying but actually fits the film, one of the most well-known Bond Girls (Pussy Galore), and of course, Oddjob.

DAD was the first new Bond I saw when I really started getting into it. The opening scene is captivating, the topic is timely, and it has Halle Berry, a fabulous car, an ice palace, and quintessential Bond ending with innuendos and sex.

LTK just recently climbed my top six mainly due to an abundance of Q, cocaine, Wayne Newton, an awesome drug ring cover story, sexy Lupe, and a rogue Bond who infiltrates the bad guys.

O oozes with badass women, which basically sums up what I love about it (admittedly, less about Bond than my feelings for other movies). Add to that Russian conspiracy, exotic India, a circus, and jewel smuggling.

Worst Bond Films: Quantum of Solace (2008) and Never Say Never Again (1983). They actively discredit the Bond franchise.

3 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized