#congratstothehappycouple

You know what drives me fucking insane?

How everyone posts picture of them and their significant other at weddings like “What a beautiful bridge and handsome groom! Congrats to the happy couple! #insertbullshitweddinghashtaghere.”

Your photo is of you and your boo. Not the couple. Not the venue. Not the people supporting the couple. You. It’s about YOU. Why don’t you just be like “Damn I look good for this wedding.” and stop pretending that the photo matches the caption.

Yes, I’ve possibly done this before, but usually within a slew of photos I’m also taking and posting. BECAUSE THE WEDDING IS ABOUT THEM AND THE PEOPLE THAT LOVE THEM. NOT ME AND THE NICE DRESS I’M WEARING.

 

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

Editor in the Streets

And in the sheets.*

I want logic. I want clarity.

No loose ends. No unaddressed details.

I. Love. Consistency.

I was taught to want this in school, I was trained to produce this as a professional, and I now live for it as a human.

Being in a group project with me in grad must be a real pain in the ass for other people.

 

*OK not where I was going with this. I am NOT critiquing your shit in bed; I am  both professionally (streets) and personally (sheets) seeking a properly edited existence.

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

Past Career: to the Rescue!

My first paper of the semester is due tonight at 6 p.m. (but really, right now, as I’m going to have to print it before I go to campus for the day). I really only worked on it for the last three days. A TERRIBLE decision on my part. It was a total mess.

8 p.m. last night: “complete-ish” at 4,100 words

7 a.m. today: complete at only 2,967 words.

Boom. #EditorSkillz

Of course, it’s only supposed to be  2,500. But hey, she gave leeway and I ran with it.

Let’s hope I didn’t cut any important content, though, since I don’t have a bosslady like in my past life to check it before it goes to print.

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

The Cubs win makes me weepy

Not because I’m some lifelong fan – although I was into them when I was a kid – but because of the number of people who called their grandparents after the win, or made reference to their grandparents as fans. My grandma was a Cubs fan–she once offered to buy a Mark Grace baseball card off me when I was too little to know she was vastly overpaying me. I don’t think of my dad’s parents often, but I’m glad to have this moment with them and everyone else celebrating the joy of their grandparents (and their own joy) with this exciting World Series win!

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

Five Sexiest Men on my TV: 2016

Uh, guys. This year was hard. I watched a lot of shows with a lot of people I was not attracted to. I mean, I watched The Fall, Broadchurch, Aquarius, Poirot, Luke Cage, Homeland, Galavant, Mr Robot, The Code, The IT Crowd, Schitt’s Creek, London Spy, Jessica Jones, House of Cards, West Wing, Buffy, Scandal, Ripper Street, Fleming: The Man Who Would Be Bond, Better Off Ted. OK, I admit I was uncomfortably attracted to David Tennant in JJ, but that’s not going to make the list.

My number one and number two spots are leagues above the rest. Looks, humour, wit, money… they have it all.

#5 Nate Hyatt House of Lies

kristen-bell-660

Sells sex toys. Confident as hell. Totally adorable.

#4 Malcolm Reynolds Firefly

mal

Good-hearted, hilarious cowboy space pirate. Obvious choice.

#3 Alberto Márquez Velvet

This man is uncomfortably attractive in anything that he wears. Or doesn’t, like this scene where he does a strip tease with his lady love. He’s dark and brooding and passionate and loyal and childish and wonderful.

#2 Mateo Ruiz Lagasca Velvet

The best friend, not the leading man, he’s much more my type. Playful playboy bachelor who wins ladies over with humour and the right amount of paying attention and leaving them wanting more. He’s just a simple guy and pushover at heart, though.

#1 Logan Huntzberger Gilmore Girls

Didn’t think I could love him more than I did last year, but indeed, I like him more. This re-watch had me all giddy and girly over the boy. So very caring, so very damn sexy.

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

Leggings are not Pants

This was my mantra senior year of college. This is what I said, on repeat, as I stood against a wall in a bar looking like I hated the world. This was a time just before leggings were truly an acceptable thing. A time when people were getting leggings and tights confused (tights are definitely never, ever, ever pants). A time when we still wore jeans to the bar, and to class, and even to work. A time where wearing yoga pants too often and to certain places would have certainly garnered some deserved flack.

I know, I sound ancient. I am.

There was a time in life, probably before I was 25, I got on the leggings train with two pairs that I would wear on occasion. I felt so self-conscious wearing them, and it was obviously not my style: I showed up for dinner at my fave cheap Mexican restaurant and my old roommate was muy sorprendido about my choice of bottoms. I usually hid the comfy stuff respectably under a tunic, but I do recall a navy sweater + leggings combo one night in Vegas with my man friend. Scandalous, really. But they were just so easy to pack!

Well, I got rid of them eventually as they were doing my thighs no favours. Again, before I was 25. I bought plenty of leggings since then, but always wear them more as thick tights under a lengthy dress/tunic. I think I wore them as pants twice, last year, when I was getting my hair done for weddings… but like that doesn’t count. I think I feel like I can’t wear them because I spent so much time being judgemental in 2009. And because I may or may not have some dysmorphia issues. Like you do.

Anyway, so this long history is really just to explain how fucked up shit was two weeks ago when, at 30 years old, I wore leggings as pants.

img_3210

LEGGINGS AS PANTS, PEOPLE. At 30.

I was sick. It was Friday. I realized my large shirt would look weird with baggy jeans, and the only good option was fleece-lined stretchy bottoms.

So I did it.

Honestly, I did feel quite self conscious. But I did not look that ridiculous, and I actually liked this little ensemble. Maybe I’ll do it again, but I think I’m too hung up on my age to try it anywhere soon… except maybe on my FLIGHT TO NEW ZEALAND IN DECEMBER. Because yeah, that’s a cool thing I’m doing, and I certainly want stretchy pants for that. Plus, #packing.

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

How do you know you were cool in high school?

screen-shot-2016-10-17-at-8-50-08-am

Now you walkin’ in the Danger Zone

You’re the love/lust interest of the guy who got to make the high school’s top-hits playlist for the magazine drive. Thanks, iTunes shuffle, for reminding me I may have peaked in 2002.

The Playlist

  1. ‘All I have’ – Jennifer Lopez Ft. LLCoolJ
  2. ‘Beautiful’ – Christina Aguilera
  3. ‘Air Force Ones’ – Nelly
  4. ‘Picture’ – Kid Rock ft. Sheryl Crow
  5. ‘In Da Club’- 50 Cent
  6. ‘Underneath it all’ – Gwen Stefani
  7. ‘Cry me a River’ – Justin Timberlake
  8. ‘Country Girl’ – DF Dub
  9. ‘I’m With You’ – Avril Lavigne
  10. ‘Bump, Bump, Bump’ – B2K, P.Diddy
  11. ‘Mesmerize’ – Ja Rule feat Ashanti
  12. ‘Don’t Mess with My Man’ – Nivea feat Jagged Edge
  13. ‘Lose Yourself’ – Eminem
  14. ‘Family Portrait’ – Pink
  15. ‘Bonnie & Clyde’ – Jay-Z feat Beyonce

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized