Better than Christmas

That’s what a lot of people say about the Drake Relays. It’s a 7-10 day drinking binge for Drake students, alumni, and willing attendants. There’s a big track meet or something, too. (LoLo Jones ate it, again! And we thought the summer Olympics fall was a fluke.)

It’s the one time of the year, or so I’ve found, that you absolutely cannot be ready for. Dogtown expands and everything changes. Bars are packed, prices skyrocket (and, interestingly enough, you never pay the same amount for a beer, even if it’s from the same bartender at the same bar as you were the night before), you don’t know anyone, and the crowd is overzealous alumni instead of inexperienced freshmen. Although both are at equal levels of intoxication.  Parking is a bitch and you have to pay no matter where you go…if you can even get there because the streets are blocked off or there’s some impromptu race down University.

Your body, especially, is not ready. It can never be ready. No matter how much pre-Relays training you go through, there’s no hope. Your body simply cannot handle the vicious cycle of too-drunk-to-hungover. The secondary spillover turns into damaged friendships, front yards, parking lots, cameras, cell phones, bedding, and body parts. But it heals, you buy a new one, clean up your mess, and wait until next spring.

Drake Relays 2009…100 years never looked so good.

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