Best of Bond: Actors and Films

BEST BOND ACTORS

1. Sean Connery
2. Pierce Brosnan
3. Roger Moore
4. Timothy Dalton
5. George Lazenby
6. Daniel Craig

Connery as Bond in "From Russia With Love"

Sean and Pierce are both sexy. They exhibit the perfect balance between physical badass and charming yet sly sophisticate. Roger is no physical beast, but still the heartbreaker (in the films. Personally I do not find him attractive). And he delivers puns and innuendos in a distinct way. Timmy is neither sexy nor badass, but he plays the charmer well enough. I hate Daniel, and George is so-so. At least George plays a character-steady Bond. Daniel’s Bond sucks. Why? He doesn’t sleep with every female, he gets attached, he drinks martinis that are stirred, he fights too much and isn’t suave enough, his head is too small for his shoulders, and he doesn’t respect M. Plus his movies do not include Q or MoneyPenny.

BEST BOND FILMS

1. You Only Live Twice (1967, Connery)
2. Diamonds Are Forever (1971, Connery)
3. Goldfinger (1964, Connery)
4. Die Another Day (2002, Brosnan)
5. Licence To Kill (1989, Dalton)
6. Octopussy (1983, Moore)

"You Only Live Twice" 1967

YOLT is actually kind of terrible. It’s racist, jumpy, and the graphics are so bad. But I love it for those reasons, too, along with: Little Nelly, Q, James’ death opener, Blofeld and his strangely unattractive minions, man-eating piranhas, Bond’s accomplices, and a theme song later riffed by Robbie Williams in 1999.

DAF is set in Vegas and includes a hotel tub that doubles as an aquarium, Tiffany Case, a theme song retouched by Kayne, two awkward as hell gay bad guys, a girl named Plenty O’Toole, and the line “That’s quite a nice little nothing you’re almost wearing.” The opening with the theme song is the epitome of Bond openings: nudity and a relevant song.

G is classic Bond. It has many sexy women, female pilots who are later parodied as Femmebots in Austin Powers, a great song that’s rather annoying but actually fits the film, one of the most well-known Bond Girls (Pussy Galore), and of course, Oddjob.

DAD was the first new Bond I saw when I really started getting into it. The opening scene is captivating, the topic is timely, and it has Halle Berry, a fabulous car, an ice palace, and quintessential Bond ending with innuendos and sex.

LTK just recently climbed my top six mainly due to an abundance of Q, cocaine, Wayne Newton, an awesome drug ring cover story, sexy Lupe, and a rogue Bond who infiltrates the bad guys.

O oozes with badass women, which basically sums up what I love about it (admittedly, less about Bond than my feelings for other movies). Add to that Russian conspiracy, exotic India, a circus, and jewel smuggling.

Worst Bond Films: Quantum of Solace (2008) and Never Say Never Again (1983). They actively discredit the Bond franchise.

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3 Comments

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3 responses to “Best of Bond: Actors and Films

  1. “From Russia with Love” (1963) is also one of the best Bond films.

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