Judge Judy

I have a problem with judging myself. I feel guilt, shame, and embarrassment almost more strongly than positive emotions. I hate being annoying, weak, and dramatic. I hate being a burden. I hate being needy. I hate having to rely on someone else. I hate not being able to control myself. I hate being inconsiderate. I hate making things a bigger deal than they are.

I also hate how much I beat myself up over those things. I hate how mad I get at myself for them. How easily I become disappointed in myself. I go from being mad at myself for doing something embarrassing, to being upset about how mad I am about the thing I’m not proud of.

It’s a vicious cycle. But it’s not like I’m in a permanent state of hating myself. I just can be a wee bit harsh sometimes. And I need to work on that, because it’s a terribly unattractive trait.

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2 Comments

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2 responses to “Judge Judy

  1. May GOD Bless you!!! Mark { p.s. self-awareness is a Good thing!!!}

  2. Pingback: Evaluating for ’11 | not exactly ready

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