Jerry: Sorry, Dave, but boobs aren’t free, you know that.
Dave: What I’m saying is I’m sick of spending so much money on them.
So get a girlfriend.
Look, if you’re not going to talk sensibly I don’t even want to discuss it.
Dave, girlfriends let you see their boobs for free. I’ve been told.
Dude, that’s the oldest lie in the book.
There’s a book?
Yes, Jerry, it’s called the book of lies. The first chapter is: “If you get a girlfriend you get to see her boobs for free.”
Wait, you don’t?
Hello no, dude. Girlfriends make you pay in emotional costs. You may not have to fork over money but you gotta ask them questions like, um, “How are you?” and “What you’re doing?” and “Does this hurt?” and “Did you forget to take your pill?” and stuff like that. It’s horrible.

I’m unsure if this is better (worse?) than the start to last semester, but I’ll take it.


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