Get Laid Before the World Ends

Hot sex with reckless abandon should be happening right now, before the Mayans’ prediction cockblocks us–permanently. What’s stopping you? Fuck the hangups and fuck everyone with this musical motivation.

Hey, the World is Ending, It’s Okay to Bone!
get motivated to make it happen while you still can

track one: don’t ask questions
Bedroom Dancing – Day One

She said, “Ask me no questions and
I’ll tell you no lies”
I said, “What about tomorrow?”
She said, “What about tonight?
Trust me baby, it’ll be alright”

track two: take a chance
Work Out – J Cole
So is life, take a chance roll a dice
Money can’t buy you love cause it’s over priced
Don’t overthink just hope it’s right
I’m only here for the night

track three: no time like the present
Quickly – John Legend/Brandy
I know we just met
But baby could you love me quickly, quickly?
I want you to love me
Like you know the world is about to end baby quickly

track four: this might be it for you
Red light special – TLC
Take a good look at it, look at it now
Might be the last time you’ll have a go round

track five: don’t think so hard
Lights Please – J Cole
And all the pain the world cause
She be healin’ that shit
And nah that ain’t your girl dog
But you be feelin’ that chick
And you just wanna tell her everything she might need
But in the mean time it’s lights please

track six: now or never
Save Tonight – Eagle Eye Cherry
Save tonight
And fight the break of dawn
Come tomorrow
Tomorrow I’ll be gone

track seven: for those in the friendzone
John Legend – Cross the Line
Girl, you’ve been my best friend, can we put this to bed then?
Tonight’s the night to cross the line, baby won’t you be mine?
Not just my homegirl, time that I take you home, girl
Tonight’s the night to cross the line, let me love you tonight

track eight: for the Catholics and churchgoers
Only The Good Die Young – Billy Joel
They say there’s a Heaven for those who will wait
Some say it’s better but I say it ain’t
I’d rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints
The sinners are much more fun

Sex! Just Do it!
get going already, everyone is doing it 

track one: that’s us
I.F.U. – Usher
I think sex is made for strangers

track two: no shame
Shut it Down – Drake/The Dream
But I refuse to feel ashamed
And if you feel the same
Does waiting really make us better people?
Take those fuckin heels off it’s worth it girl
Nothing is what I can picture you in
So take that fuckin’ dress off I swear you won’t forget me
You’ll be happy that you let me lay you down

track three: undebatable 
That’s What It’s Made For – Usher
Go on and hit it
That’s what it’s made for

track four: what’s the problem
Promiscuous – Nelly Furtado, Timbaland
You expect me to just let you hit it
But will you still respect me if you get it
All I can do is try, gimme one chance
What’s the problem I don’t see no ring on your hand

track five: it’s natural
Bad Touch – Bloodhound Gang
You and me baby ain’t nothin’ but mammals
So let’s do it like they do on the Discovery Channel

Do It! With Me!
super subtle messages to seal the deal

Get Up On It – Keith Sweat
My Body – LSG
I Can Tell You Wanna Fuck– 504 Boyz
Come Get With Me – Keith Sweat and Snoop Dogg
Take Me Now – Justin Timberlake
Pony – Ginuwine
Touch It –Monifa
Rock Your World – Justin Timberlake
Take Me Home Tonight – Eddie Money

Now, the logistics are up to you. If you’re interested in doubling back to an old joyride, take hints from John Mayer’s Who Says, Usher’s 2nd Round, and John Legend’s Another Again. They all agree, it’s pretty okay to re-bootycall. Looking for a fresh affair? Don’t be worried about her significant other: Ludacris (I Know You Got a Man) and Montell Jordan (Get It On Tonight) don’t really see the problem. Want to keep rawdogging it with the tried and true? Get it, girl. Think a hooker is a good (the only?) way to go? Pay it forward, man. I mean, shit…
We’re at world’s end here.


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