Tag Archives: Archer


“Sterling” was Roger Moore’s Bond’s cover last name when he went to visit Stromberg in The Spy Who Loved Me.

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It’s been a big week for my TV life. Mad Men started back. Archer finished its third season. Californication set up for its season finale next week.

Overall: I’m disappointed.

Mad Men was good. Maybe I’m not disappointed in it, but there was this new level of wrong with the characters–Lane’s creepy yearning, the Drapers’ punishment/fetish sex, Harry’s lewdness–that sort of put me on edge.

Archer’s conclusion sucked. Not that theme was bad: a Moonraker-style two-episode farewell that had a Drax-inspired character called Drake, and a Jaws-like goodbye to Bionic Barry (who already had a somewhat Jaws-ish relationship develop with Katya in the precursor to the season-ending double-whammy). Good job, team! I guess I just felt like part two ended with me thinking, “Archer’s a dick. Got it. Everyone else suffers because of it. Got it. So…” What? We’ve known that since forever. The end did nothing to make me want the immediate return of the show. And I’m always wanting that. Until now.

And then there’s Californication. I still really like this season, despite some inconsistencies, like

-WTF happened with Hank and Kali?
-Why does Samurai trust Tyler with Kali? 
-Why doesn’t Karen get how horrible Tyler is?
-When did Marcy become not funny and just a bitch?  

but this last episode seems to have set the doom-gloom on the season closer. Is that necessary? We already had Hank’s trial and Hank’s confession to Karen, does this season need to be a shitter, too? What happened to the jump-in-the-car-and-go type ending from the first season is what I want to know.

While I’m not opposed to infidelity in the show–obviously it’s what it’s based on–this latest episode fucked over everyone. EVERYONE. Even Hank, who was staying pretty clean until it involved Becca.

"Life is messy man, okay? Sometimes shit happens." Wrong answer.

As glad as I am that he gave Tyler what was coming, why couldn’t the episode have ended with Hank doing the standup thing [side note: as much as I was rooting for Hank, Karen, and some beach sex, I think this was the right move for his newly developed awareness] and then let Samurai catch Kali and Tyler? Why did Hank have to come out as the bad guy, again, when his intentions have been so good with not hurting Becca and Karen? Bah. There’s just not one stable person or relationship in the whole damn show (hell, even the agent-writer relationship is fucked up) and I don’t know how that’s going to turn around in 20 minutes next week.

But, like I said, still an awesome show. And despite the heartbreak, this week had some pretty great moments. Here are a couple right-on remarks from Marcy:

“I would be the fucking spice. The sexual tabasco.”

“They fucking love you to pieces, you dumb shit. We all do. You just have trouble loving yourself sometimes.”

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In a world where I send Valentines

Hating on February, I dislike Valentine’s Day by default. This, I am certain, surprises no one: I am not girly, romantic, and I’m almost never in a relationship to reap the benefits, anyway.

However. If I did send Valentines, this is what you’d likely get.


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I’m sitting here

with just

a mustache

and memories of

last night.

-Burt Reynolds in Archer Season 3, Episode 4 “The Man from Jupiter”

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Codename: Duchess

Archer is back tonight. There was this three-part teaser to the third season a while back, but tonight, for real, he returns. From being a pirate king.

Anyway, I had hoped to get a post together about my favorite quotes from the first season, but that’s on my laptop. And I’m not with my laptop. So, just watch the first episode “Mole Hunt.” That’s, like, half the list.

Instead, I give to you a smorgasbord* of Archer-y goodness. Welcome to the Danger Zone.

  • Archer “Danger Zone” mix: Go ahead, rave at your desk. I am. 
  • Archer gifs. Fuck yeah!
  • Did you get the reference to Bartleby the Scrivener? What about Buddy Rich? I did. Find out about Archer’s 10 Most Obscure Jokes.
  • Learn how to Archer. This will go great on the bookshelf I have filled with geeky things I shouldn’t have bought (Jones Soda. The Guild).
  • Pam sure love’s to talk. And post on Facebook. 
  • Archer’s “Danger zone!” sound clips.
  • Archer Live: Where Archer was, is, and possibly will be going (and perhaps a new weekly thing?).
  • Twitter: Just the tip (of the day).
  • The creator of Archer gets interviewed about this upcoming season. Potential spoiler alert!
  • Season 3 guest stars and stuff. (Also mentions potential spoiler. ALERT!)
  • More “How to Archer” love. This is especially significant because it’s from GQ. And, I mean, the only thing I would look to more (if I were a boy) is Esquire.
  • Try this for other magazine-related Archerness (and almost naked ladies).
  • Dude, this is from Mancave Daily. How can you not want to know what they say about Lana Kane?
  • Just the tip.
  • Sterling Archer Draper Pryce.

* Will be smorgasbord. Work in progress. Check back throughout the day… clearly I’m not doing work. Whoops! Happy Archer Day.

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I’ll get right to the point.

I went to Las Vegas over the weekend.

Yes, yes. My life is pretty fantastic. I’m probably cooler than you. At very least, I know people who are cooler than you.

It was a delightful trip to visit a damn great person. I ate. I drank. I saw some bands. I pondered about other people’s lives. I watched some good TV. I  heard some good tunes. I also slept well, relaxed in a pool, gawked at the strip, encountered an awesome family and left an obnoxious handprint on a mirror–I just don’t have any links for those.

I basically spent three full days living. And “living” includes taking two naps a day and staying awake for 26 hours. I love my life.

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