It was intended for my birthday (the only bday memento in the five years) but it was really a parting gift.
A really sweet (and begrudgingly thoughtful) consolation prize that makes me look badass.
Admittedly, this is getting obnoxious. You would think that all I have in my life is some kind of void or problem revolving around a guy. NOT true. In fact, I recently (as in right before this post) started a new blog to incorporate something else to write about.
But truthfully, in the whole “not exactly ready” scheme of things, guys are one of my ultimate areas of ignorance and inexperience. I have only had a couple boyfriends, and really only one before now that there was an actual breakup that had to be dealt with.
How does one go about drawing the line? What is okay, and what isn’t? How do you stay friends with someone you break up with–especially when it is someone you weren’t friends with before? How can you come off as wanting to be friendly, not pining after them? That’s where I’m at right now. I’m not pining. At all. And I’m so damn worried that I’ll come off like that, but some things make you think of other people. I see a sweet baked good, I text MTK. Spongebob references? Shelby. Unanswerable life questions? Whitney. El Caminos? Max. You just can’t shake some associations.
I wasn’t ready last Thursday when my boyfriend tried to break up with me a week early. Like a good girlfriend (or not) I stalled. I asked him to reconsider–why do it a week early when it is already inevitable? So, last night, I was only a little less ready when he did it again. This time, I didn’t try to talk him out of it. A week ago it was because I was busy, but this was more or less because he didn’t want me around. Something about, hard to focus on the present when he’s already thinking about a month from now.
I wasn’t expecting the greatest week of my life, but I thought I meant enough that he’d want to spend time with me while he could. Silly me. How can one short, kind-of-cute girl from Iowa compare to a city full of everything?