Tag Archives: Californication

Thought of the Day

Life is just too fucking boring not to try.

-Lew Ashby, Californication

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Californication Finale Reaction

I know I’m not girly. I know I’m not sweet. I know I’m not what most people think of when they think of how girlfriends act.

But fuck me if Californication isn’t a testament to my softer side. Because I just keep waiting for something to go right for Hank and Karen. And it keeps breaking my heart. This season more than any other.

I’d call that a textbook hopeless romantic.

It might also indicate an inability to let things go, an interest in bad boys, stubbornness, masochism, and a tendency to overlook major character flaws.

Until next season, guys…


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It’s been a big week for my TV life. Mad Men started back. Archer finished its third season. Californication set up for its season finale next week.

Overall: I’m disappointed.

Mad Men was good. Maybe I’m not disappointed in it, but there was this new level of wrong with the characters–Lane’s creepy yearning, the Drapers’ punishment/fetish sex, Harry’s lewdness–that sort of put me on edge.

Archer’s conclusion sucked. Not that theme was bad: a Moonraker-style two-episode farewell that had a Drax-inspired character called Drake, and a Jaws-like goodbye to Bionic Barry (who already had a somewhat Jaws-ish relationship develop with Katya in the precursor to the season-ending double-whammy). Good job, team! I guess I just felt like part two ended with me thinking, “Archer’s a dick. Got it. Everyone else suffers because of it. Got it. So…” What? We’ve known that since forever. The end did nothing to make me want the immediate return of the show. And I’m always wanting that. Until now.

And then there’s Californication. I still really like this season, despite some inconsistencies, like

-WTF happened with Hank and Kali?
-Why does Samurai trust Tyler with Kali? 
-Why doesn’t Karen get how horrible Tyler is?
-When did Marcy become not funny and just a bitch?  

but this last episode seems to have set the doom-gloom on the season closer. Is that necessary? We already had Hank’s trial and Hank’s confession to Karen, does this season need to be a shitter, too? What happened to the jump-in-the-car-and-go type ending from the first season is what I want to know.

While I’m not opposed to infidelity in the show–obviously it’s what it’s based on–this latest episode fucked over everyone. EVERYONE. Even Hank, who was staying pretty clean until it involved Becca.

"Life is messy man, okay? Sometimes shit happens." Wrong answer.

As glad as I am that he gave Tyler what was coming, why couldn’t the episode have ended with Hank doing the standup thing [side note: as much as I was rooting for Hank, Karen, and some beach sex, I think this was the right move for his newly developed awareness] and then let Samurai catch Kali and Tyler? Why did Hank have to come out as the bad guy, again, when his intentions have been so good with not hurting Becca and Karen? Bah. There’s just not one stable person or relationship in the whole damn show (hell, even the agent-writer relationship is fucked up) and I don’t know how that’s going to turn around in 20 minutes next week.

But, like I said, still an awesome show. And despite the heartbreak, this week had some pretty great moments. Here are a couple right-on remarks from Marcy:

“I would be the fucking spice. The sexual tabasco.”

“They fucking love you to pieces, you dumb shit. We all do. You just have trouble loving yourself sometimes.”

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turn me loose

Last Sunday’s episode of Californication:
Runkel in a hotub. Gettin frisky with his nanny. To Saadiq.

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Waiting for The Miracle

But at some point I had to choose happiness. I had to make it a priority.

I am really liking this fifth season of Californication. I had my doubts after season four dragged. It was stale. But this–this is nice. It’s a little bit more dramedy, a little less sexmedy. Don’t get me wrong, the shock value is still there, the strange is definitely still there, and Hank’s wiener is still feeling weird. But it’s a good change of pace. Everyone is growing up, or at least trying to. It doesn’t feel like a game anymore. The end of the third episode reminded me of so much of what I loved in the first season. This season itself has breached some interesting topics: overexposure to porn and sex toys. Now, it’s dealt with in a comic manner, but some people I know would have you believe it’s a legitimate issue. In this latest episode, four, Hank got downright put in his place. In front of all his happy friends. And although I think they gave Crazy a little too much self-righteousness, it was refreshing to see it happen.

It’s just… At the end, when Hank’s talking to Karen, I totally feel them both. And being the good little narcissistic blogger that I am, I can’t help but wonder between the two, where I really am now (I know which I tell myself), or where I’m going to be. The miracle is that I’ll get there someday.

What if this is it for me? What if I’m just destined to sit around and wait for the band to get back together.

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Five Sexiest Men on My TV: 2011

I missed it! My “Five Sexiest” post should have occurred this time-ish last month. This year is a little rough. I’m re-watching old shows, still following some current ones, and watching some that are entirely new to me (and not new to anyone else). There was not a clear selection for my top five, or the rankings within. Many of my favorites fell from grace. It’s a strange year, indeed.

#5 Stringer Bell The Wire

Stringer Bell

He’s not a good person. But the way he does business (and looks) is damn hot.

#4 Gisborne Robin Hood

Sir Guy of Gisborne

He’s just so awkward and lovesick and clueless. He’s not nice, but he means well. And he’s British.

#3 Hank Moody Californication

Hank Moody

Hank fell, and fell solely because the show isn’t as good as it used to be. Tragic, passionate, fuck-up Hank, still makes me swoon. The Hank who wrote a letter to a pregnant Karen still makes me teary. Early Hank owns my heart.

#2 Fisher GREEK


Back to the top five for this guy. I know he’s a cheater, but everything else about him would quite possibly make him my number one. Watching this a third time, he really reminds me of the guy I dated in college–bike and GDI status included.

#1 Jim Halpert The Office


It took me until this month to see The Office. I refrained from watching it for a lot of dumb reasons (like it was closely linked to my friend’s sex life, or everyone loved it so much I felt stupid for never having seen it). But now, like many girls, I adore Jim. Of course he’s cute and funny, but mostly I am enamored with the way he makes Pam feel–blissfully happy, confident, and comfortable. I want that.


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A Note on Love


The one that listens and hears everything. The one that looks at you and sees right into your soul. The one that makes you believe in every fucking fairy tale that you’ve ever been told. Ultimately, I may not even be the woman who gets to enjoy the man I know he can be. But I still want the best for him.

-Karen, Californication

That’s love.

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A Toast

To hard cocks. And handsome men.
-Eddie Nero, Californication

What the fuck was I toasting to prior to this?

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Star Wars & Getting Laid

I tend to get super geeked about clever pop culture references (Twilight in Robin Thicke’s “Sex Therapy”), or references to my favorite things (Bond in Archer) in TV shows, books, songs, and the like. The last couple weeks I’ve noticed Star Wars (old favorite) in a few of my new favorites. Interestingly, three of the four scenarios directly link sex with Star Wars (four for four if you naturally equate Ludacris with sex, like I do).

Californication season 4, episode 1
Charlie: How do you do it?
Hank: It’s an old Jedi mind trick.

Ludacris Party No Mo’
I keep the hood with me like Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Ludacris Freaky Thangs
Tallywhacker is a rock hard storm trooper with a purple helmet, made for crushin’ pink cookies. Goonie goo-goo, we cut bigfoots and wookies; and fat women, because they need love too.

GREEK season 4, episode 2
Casey (to Rusty/Dana): By the way, if you guys are going to watch Star Wars until 3 am in your room, could  you just put the volume down a little bit.
Dale: You know he doesn’t have a TV in his bedroom, right?
Casey: Okay, but I heard that scene where they blow up the death star like ten times.
Dale (girl+guy voices): “Stabilize your rear deflectors.” “You’re in range, target coming up.” “Almost there.” “Stay on target.” “Almost there.” “Hold’em.” “Almost there.” “Torpedos away.”
Casey: Oh my god, they were…

Rusty: A rebel booth. Like the rebel alliance.
Dana: Does Luke need to seek shelter in a tonton?
Rusty: You just, hold that thought in carbonite.

Rusty: New pledge Spidey! New Hope!

Any of your favorite things popping up in others?


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Welcome Back, Hank.

Not only does the lady have bodacious ta-tas, she also has splendiferous taste in literature. – Hank Moody. sigh.

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