Tag Archives: CanadaEh

I Know Better Than You

I have this problem where sometimes I think I know more than other people.

And, like most people with this problem, I don’t like taking direction from someone I know I know better than. After working in publishing in the same area for as long as I did, I had realized I knew some things better than others, and at the retail gig I’d stopped listening to certain people as well. It sure does make things challenging at times, because I’m a real treat when I have an attitude on, and no one in bossman position likes an insolent underling.

In school, though, this is hardly a concern because I know don’t know shit, and I realize I need all the nuggets of wisdom. I still aggressively question things, but I’m not blatantly disregarding anyone’s opinion.

Except the people I’m paying to give feedback on my job hunting skills, that is.

Through the U, I’ve signed up for a program that helps me get work, by coordinating job interviews, providing career search guidance, etc. It’s a pretty sweet deal, and I’m excited about the prospects, but it’s also a complete load of bullshit. 

First of all, I just got accepted into nine graduate programs, so my cover letter (personal statement, ahem) skills are obviously on point. Oh, and I was a professional writer for almost a decade. Don’t tell me I don’t know how to write a cover letter–an excellent, wooing cover letter.

The cover letter is no place for humor? You don’t want to know what the job can do for me? You don’t think I properly expressed my appreciation or excitement for this opportunity? Fuck you very much, I’m not some vapid suckup. And if you don’t think that the company isn’t seduced by my willingness to drink the brand’s koolaid and have them teach me their ways, then you’re wrong. You’re just wrong. They don’t want a n00b who is certain she owns the world. I am that girl, and I know they don’t want that.

This is the first line of their sample: “Thank you for receiving my resume. I would like to apply for the XXXX XXXXX XXXXXs Co-op Student position.”

::ZzZzz:: Uh, no. I wouldn’t read any further with that opening line.

Then there’s the fact that they were appalled at my one-page resume.

M’excuse? Back in America ain’t nobody got time for people like me thinking they’re bigger than a one-page resume. If it can’t be said on a page, you’re saying too much.

lolz. Silly Canadians.


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Back when Google was young

When I was in college, Google was still pretty new…

(Oh god, I already know I’m going to tell so many stories that start like this, to young people in libraries when I’m 110 and graduate from grad school.)

And because Google wasn’t as advanced, it didn’t quite recognize my university. Searching (because “Googling” wasn’t an ingrained, grammatic nightmare term yet) “Drake University” would always produce results, but with the overhead of, “Did you mean Duke University?”

No, Google, I didn’t. And that pissed me off. And thankfully you figured it out.

Nowadays, I’m having de-ja-vu. I’ll go to bedbathandbeyond.com or walmart.com or anything .com and the website will give me a popup that’s basically asking me if I know that I’m in Canada. Yes, Internet, I actually typed the .com to avoid having to navigate away from .ca. LET IT BE.

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This is the view from the corner of my deck: East is the orange construction, south is the massive hole where a house stood when I moved in. Not pictured, five doors west is another whole-house overhaul.

No, I was not exactly ready for my sleepy little hamlet to become Construction City the week grad school started.

Yes, you are right in thinking that none of this is good for the endless hours of reading I have to do for grad school. Good thing the laptop I purchased (that’s entirely unsuitable for the major, mind you) came with a free pair of headphones that I decided to upgrade to the wireless model. Spotify’s “Focus” channels are trying to help, too.


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My First 10 Days in Canada

I’m not even sure what, or how, to tell you about it. It had it’s highs and lows. Mostly lows and lowers, thanks to my pisspoor attitude when it comes to this stuff. Nothing is easy or quick on the moving-in front: furniture (OMG IKEA I CAN’T EVEN), paying bills, applying for a cell phone, opening bank accounts–and more importantly getting the money–have taken far more effort/require more things than I anticipate, every. single. time. But isn’t the how it goes anyway? Then toss in a new country and you really got some learning to do.

The weather is amazing. Perfect all day, e’ry day. I mean the wet winter will suck, but this place is g-damn glorious right now.

My house is nice, but it’s loaded with spiders and surrounded by mosquitoes (I’m not polkadot, not white). The homeowners are eco-friendly fiends so I feel a lot of pressure when it comes to water consumption, using electricity, recycling, killing insects, eating meat/gluten/dairy… really just existing. My washing machine is broken but if I shove a small tool in at the right angle it will run, so we’re just going with that. I’m sure that won’t be annoying for the next year.

On the flip side, the homeowners are a delightful family of four. The two young sons are sweet and it’s nice to have them prancing around to put an unexpected smile on your face. An older Irish couple who live in the homeowner’s basement completes our hippie commune. They all hosted a welcome BBQ last night and I’m really glad they’re such welcoming, fun, and interesting people. And they love coffee and red wine. It’s brilliant. I will definitely be comfortable here, once I get used to it.

School is defeating me. Hard. And it hasn’t even started yet.
-They expect you to have a background in information systems already. I don’t, and I can’t learn it on my own, and I can’t even actually download the appropriate software, and it’s the most frustrating experience. I feel dumb, and helpless, and I hate it.
-They tell you it’s OK to have a Mac, but when you get into course work you find out that Apple products actually aren’t supported (so much for the $2k you just spent on a new computer/software/hardware).
-There are no books to buy. It’s just all these downloads or something, I don’t even know, and I’m trying to find the website where they supposedly live, but there’s nothing there so I can’t find them to prepare before school starts.
-I’ve applied for five or six on-campus jobs, but not a single job wants to interview me. And it sucks because there are some amazing jobs and I’d love, love, love to have them. But also, I’m so broke it’s terrifying, and I can’t imagine living another month, god forbid another five years, without a paycheck. And I didn’t get any great scholarships, and I didn’t get the sorority scholarship, and I’m just hemorrhaging money for something I’m not even sure I’m qualified for, but something I’m definitely sure is currently making me feel pretty shitty.

I’m also in the midst of a personal crisis of faith in myself, what with the not knowing anything about what I’m getting into at school, the having a car I don’t want and can’t take care of because I literally will never be able to park it back in it’s tiny spot if I ever move it, and the finally acknowledging that I’ve put on a lot of weight and feeling very ugly. And being this down on yourself is not great time to meet new people and start new things, and I know that, so that just keeps the stress cycle rolling. #cantstopwontstop?

I’ve fit in plenty of ME time, though. I watched the latest three (available on Netflix) seasons of Archer. I watched both seasons of The Hour. (Delightful! Wish it hadn’t been cancelled.) I picked like a billion other shows and movies to watch.

Oh! And I’m not sleeping well: Partly due to the super expensive/uncomfortable bed I bought, and partly because I have a lot of stress. Also I had a dream that John Stamos wanted to sleep with me, and I said no. That was actually really stressful, too. 😛

And these, folks, are my new first world problems. Orientation starts next week, cross your fingers I don’t embarrass myself too much!

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The Canadians Know

Today when I finally ventured out of my house, I learned that the Canadians know about the Iowa State Fair. (Side note: My neighbors are awesome. They said, Throw a raging party in there. We won’t tell. Just invite us.)

Yep. Trump. They commented on Trump.

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I Can’t Come to the Web Right Now

I’m busy solving crimes and binge watching Murder She Wrote before the move into the JB Fletcher-free Canada.enhanced-buzz-20547-1359362818-3

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This is why I’m embarassed to move out of the country

Thanks, BBC, for making it clear that I have an uphill battle as an international student. (But, in related news, I cannot wait to leave behind all the political goodness of an Iowa life.)

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Day Two

Of no longer living in the Target parking lot.


The struggle is already real. I don’t think I’ll survive Canada.

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