Have you ever wondered what others think of you? The superficial things they pinpoint while they’re judging you from across the bar. Or the person who can Facebook stalk you due to some glitch that allows them to see your photo album via clicking on one of their friends, even though you two aren’t friends? Or that person you went to middle school with who is reading your info like, “Who the hell is this girl? James Bond and Oscar Wilde? She grew up strange.”
Well thanks to Facebook ads, which, much like the ads that float across my Gmail inbox, are driven by my own input and interaction, I now know what people must think of me. Apparently, I’m terribly desperate (check the link).
Kristina: According to Facebook
I didn’t know that college graduation was a free ticket to the marriage crisis. Maybe it’s just because I am “of age” but I feel like these last couple months have hit insanely hard in that arena. Three guys that I “dated’ and a couple other people I know were married this summer, and I feel like there is at least one weekly Facebook relationship updated to “engaged.”
Even among the people who aren’t maritally secure, the big “I do” is still a hot topic. We talk about marriage trends. Divorce stats. How we think it’s crazy so-and-so are engaged. How we just aren’t ready. How we don’t want to be in their position, but hope to God we don’t end up alone. Seriously, I think I have had at least one nuptially infused conversation with most of the people I consider a close friend. Thankfully, a few of them are already in marriage-conducive relationships and still aren’t ready to eternally commit.
I am about as far from ready for marriage as you can get; the only thing I don’t have is a commitment phobia. I’m not ready for this to be such a big subject in my life. I don’t need the pressure, and I am certainly not interested in making the topic relevant.
I listened to non-stop soul/r&b stations on Pandora for a week while I did the baby names project. Alicia Keys, John Legend, Baby Face, Robin Thicke, Ne-Yo, Raphael Saadiq, Usher, John Mayer, Marvin Gaye… Listening to too much of that stuff is dangerous. It pretty much left me wanting to be in a relationship, or be heartbroken about one, or be getting back together with one, or not in one at all but having a sexy forbidden affair. Yikes. Thankfully I finished the project and returned to my apartment where my itunes computer (yes, I have two, one with itunes and one with Pandora) is not so sexually charged.
But listening to all that music and spending 22 days in Legend Lyric Land pointed out a tragic flaw in my character: I am never exactly ready when a guy does something “right.” Now, I’m not saying that it so rarely happens and guys never know what’s going on. Not at all true. But for all my hating on romance and happy endings and all things love, I always swoon when a guy does something I like. For instance, I find kisses on the forehead or top of the head to be the sexiest things ever. I’m always harboring an inward starry-eyed grin whenever a guy does that–even if it happened every day I would react that way. But that along with so many other things, like a guy saying he misses you just when you needed to hear it most, are the kinds of actions that I’m never ready for and I’ll always let my guard down. And if I’m not careful, that will come back to hurt me.
I’m blaming soul music for my sappy weakness. I’m also blaming it for this ad that appeared on my Facebook:
I’ve been MIA in posting for a while. Most of it is the baby names job that is sucking away my life, and good posture. I spend so much time sitting on my ass researching baby names that I am pretty sure my back is going to go. (Although I am now dying to name a boy James Aston or Sean Aston. Bond and Bond Car.) I received a massage gift and I’ll probably use it on July 15. A desk would be nice in the meantime. ::sigh::
I also haven’t been posting because our stolen internet is on mega fritz. And because, well, I haven’t had much to go on with this thread of “ready or not.” At least, what I have been experiencing in the world of “not ready” isn’t something that should be posted on the web. Which says a lot considering I’m not one to censor my self (or others). But hey, sometimes things gotta stay private.
However, I have seven minutes until I need to kick the power to this laptop and head out of town. I’m spending the Fourth with the fam, of course. My cousin may or may not be moving out of the country, so it’s pretty important to me to see her. I stopped to find internet solely to update my Facebook countdown, er, count-up, to the John Legend concert. I’m stoked and celebrating by posting lyrics daily. Since I’ll be web-free for a couple days, I had to get it taken care of pre-trip. Don’t worry, I’ll be posting the lyrics, and why I chose them, when it’s closer to the concert.
Times up. Hit the road, Jack.
I thought 23 would be worse. Yes, yes I know someone always asks, “Feel any different?”and you want to punch them because of course you don’t. But really, I thought it might. 2008 was the last “cool” birthday for me: 22 on the 22nd. Still, not even that cool, and I spent 95% of the day alone traveling home from California. So I pretty much banked on this year sucking, simply because I’m now old balls. But hey, you know what, it’s not that bad. I feel like more of an adult than I have previously. Not actually but it is my first birthday in the real world. It just feels older.
But regardless of age. Yesterday did produce some pretty great things.
1. Multiple Facbeook posts and a dead-on someecard
2. A funny 2 am voicemail from my favorite voicemail-leaver Tanner
3. Three tickets to see John Legend on July 22 with two of my favorite people EVER
(yes you are hearing angels singing in the background)
4. The purchase of two John Legend CDs
5. Chinese take-out
6. A viewing of Robin Hood Men in Tights
7. A DQ ice cream cake care of my lovely roommates