Tag Archives: Ludacris

There are times I’ve wanted to live near Vegas

…but I’ve never wanted it quite so hard as today.

At the Consumer Electronics Show they released Blu-ray Bond, Ludacris introduced his new headphones (in person), and three Bond directors lead a panel on technology and Bond films.

Seriously. If I managed to see that and get laid, it’d be the greatest day, ever.

Knowing what could have been, I see no reason to return to Sin City. It could not possibly be satisfying,

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NOT appropriate

It’s highly possible you haven’t encountered these tunes, and for the last few weeks, I have felt it’s my duty to spread the love.

Just (The Tip) – Plies feat. Jeremih and Ludacris

“If you love me you’ll let me do it I’m just saying” and “how ’bout two or three pumps” are some of the show-stopping lines set to melodious “hold music” stylings. The chorus of “just the tip” sounds so sweet. So catchy. Not listening, you might even think it’s a nice song. Wrong. Have you ever heard a more ridiculous and offensive song? Perhaps. But I haven’t found one I enjoy as much.

Wet the Bed – Chris Brown feat. Ludacris

Wet? There’s a sexy connotation there. Wet the bed? Absolutely not. Nothing about it sounds good. Nothing. Luda’s lyrics are great, though, per usual.

Dedication to My Ex – Lloyd feat. Andre 3000 and Lil Wayne

Hah. You were thinking, “Oh sure. I’ve heard this one. What’s the deal?” The deal, my friend, is that lines like, “She used to squeeze me, grip me tight enough so she could please me,” mean something entirely different when you discover “pussy” replaces “lovin'” and you’ve been listening to a radio edit all this time. Skank’s loose.

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un(distinguishable)

Look at all the innovation here, guys!

Four dudes, same song. Jamie even says, “not the usual.” I love Luda, but I think I need to give it to Trey here. Probably because he suggests a balcony.

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Star Wars & Getting Laid

I tend to get super geeked about clever pop culture references (Twilight in Robin Thicke’s “Sex Therapy”), or references to my favorite things (Bond in Archer) in TV shows, books, songs, and the like. The last couple weeks I’ve noticed Star Wars (old favorite) in a few of my new favorites. Interestingly, three of the four scenarios directly link sex with Star Wars (four for four if you naturally equate Ludacris with sex, like I do).

Californication season 4, episode 1
Charlie: How do you do it?
Hank: It’s an old Jedi mind trick.

Ludacris Party No Mo’
I keep the hood with me like Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Ludacris Freaky Thangs
Tallywhacker is a rock hard storm trooper with a purple helmet, made for crushin’ pink cookies. Goonie goo-goo, we cut bigfoots and wookies; and fat women, because they need love too.

GREEK season 4, episode 2
Casey (to Rusty/Dana): By the way, if you guys are going to watch Star Wars until 3 am in your room, could  you just put the volume down a little bit.
Dale: You know he doesn’t have a TV in his bedroom, right?
Casey: Okay, but I heard that scene where they blow up the death star like ten times.
Dale (girl+guy voices): “Stabilize your rear deflectors.” “You’re in range, target coming up.” “Almost there.” “Stay on target.” “Almost there.” “Hold’em.” “Almost there.” “Torpedos away.”
Casey: Oh my god, they were…

Rusty: A rebel booth. Like the rebel alliance.
Dana: Does Luke need to seek shelter in a tonton?
Rusty: You just, hold that thought in carbonite.

Rusty: New pledge Spidey! New Hope!

Any of your favorite things popping up in others?

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Living La Vida Luda

Here it is, late but as promised, life advice by Ludacris. And I mean legitimate advice, and not just what I think you should be doing in the bedroom (I’ve already covered that plenty). So if you’re looking for some inspiration to start the year, try the guy who will help you get some and be a better person.

And learning from my mistakes, try not to make ’em twice–just admitting when I’m wrong, trying hard to make it right.

Don’t you ever ask no questions that you really don’t want the answers to.

If you can’t take the heat then get the fuck out the kitchen.

But with God as my navigator I’ll be staying afloat.

And the future looks dim if we don’t get ourselves together.

They wanna talk to ya, so shut up and listen.

Don’t let these devils play you down or belittle your soul, just be happy with yourself and it’s so simple to grow.

Go strap your seatbelts on.

Don’t ever assume nothin.

People too picky these days damn it. Too tall, too short, too fat, too skinny. Have a couple of drinks and quit discriminating.

Cause life is short–if you don’t know this it’ll pass you by.

Power down your inhibitions and power up your inner freak.

And I won’t judge you ‘cause I know that ain’t nobody perfect, but you got some perfect imperfections and that makes you worth it.

Use your brain homie; do the right thing.

No matter how much older we get, man, we all still children at heart. We all make mistakes, it’s all good.

Clean in the workplace, dirty in the sheets.

Because you are who you are when nobody is looking.

Keep one eye open, cause the streets don’t sleep.

And baby, nobody’s perfect in this world of ours; there’s plenty people getting stitches in this world of scars. But over time, pray to God that he can heal your wounds, try to love and love again until they seal your tomb.

You might not agree with our views, but you had to respect ’em.

They like a little danger, and might not admit it, but they on for the chase and they want us to come and get it.

And use your dental floss.

Get through the agony and anger, the pain and strife, and take the necessary steps to try to change my life.

So in the sack talk to me, tell me what’s on your mind.

All lyrics are likely copyrighted to Ludacris, Island Def Jam, DTP, or whatever. Quoted from Child of the Night, B.O.T.S. Radio, What Them Girls Like, Do The Right Thang, Two Miles an Hour, One More Drink, Sex Room, Tell Me A Secret, Nasty Girl, I Do It for Hip Hop, Call Up The Homies, and Spur of the Moment.

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Let’s Get Ludicrous

How many resolutions can you make from these lyrics and video? I’m thinking this would be one hell of a year. Or weekend.

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Drinking and Dating

In preparation for a forthcoming post about the life advice expelled by Ludacris, I share this video. Too good.

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