Tag Archives: lyrics

I downloaded the WP app 

on my phone, while at work, and figured out my password, all in order to share this with you. (All two of you: Hi WR! Hi MA!) Because I literally spit citrus out of my mouth onto the keyboard when it happened. Let me set the scene.

R&B station on shuffle for the last 2 hours. Really deep into some new jams while I’m blogging for work. Like, actually kinda grooving at my desk. Peeling and eating some clementines. Next song comes on. Got some kind of slow 90s-00s crossover period Brandy/Monica/Toni/Janet vibes happening.

I won’t make you pull out

First line of the song. No fucking joke.
In the last month-ish I experienced some epically not-exactly-ready shit, but I was pretty unprepared to see someone beat Raphael Saadiq to the punch.

later: Shoutout to another song on this station which threatens to turn a pussy into a kiddie pool. Which sounds like no fun for anyone, really. That said: I like your sound, Dapper. 

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Your Worst Enemy

Occasionally, I remember Brand New and the music I loved in high school. Sure, I’ve had friendships and relationships end in heartbreak, despair, disappointment, and disbelief: a burning mass of heart and feelings. But as bad as I was, I don’t think I’ve ever wished this upon their asses.

Is that what you call a getaway?
Tell me what you got away with,
‘Cause I’ve seen more spine in jellyfish.
I’ve seen more guts in eleven-year-old kids.
Have another drink and drive yourself home – 
I hope there’s ice on all the roads,
And you can think of me when you forget your seatbelt,
And again when your head goes through the windshield.
-Seventy Times Seven

Hah. So bad, so good. That’s cruel.

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Perfectly Acceptable Proposal

You know, I don’t know that I’d really want the whole

“Tina McG, will you make me the happiest man alive – will you spend the rest of your life making me a better man? Will you do me the honor of marrying me?”

style of proposal. It’s so… boring. 1950s. Tired. It’s been done, damn it. But you know who has the right idea? T.I.

Let me be the one you back that ass into,” and a ring are all I need.



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The Story of My Life with Pop (as sung by Lana Del Rey)

You're no good for me.

The title! The opening!

You win again, Pandora.

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Oooh He Can Get It

John Legend announced another concert tour on Sunday. He’s pretty much the greatest thing to happen to my eardrums, so I obviously want to go. This fabulous news is the perfect preface to a post I’ve been thinking about:

John Legend + Andre 3000’s Green Light

(Permitted he was mildly attractive and a reasonable age, of course.
I do have some lingering standards.)

  • Dying to meet you
    so let’s mess around
  • 1, 2, 3 red light
    I wanna see what your bed’s like
  • So I went hard
    like Medusa staring at me
  • Hey if I were you
    it would be me that I go home with
  • This what I’m telling you
    to the bed I’m nailing you
    like I been in jail for two years and they just lettin me loose
  • Even Stevie Wonder got down sometimes

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Why can’t you be

… like my Waterpik shower massager: A sweet reliable machine.
… like an art house foreign movie: Frank and sexy, red balloons and ennui.
… someone looking deeper into me, like J.D. Salinger.
… the part of me that’s missing.

I like this song. I think Third Eye Blind brilliantly relays message through metaphor. And that last line there? Fuckin’ preach. It’s like, I want this to work, but it’s not. I like you, why can’t this just be right? But it’s not. They conveyed a whole lot in 10 words and a handful of musical notes.


They also have this line that I’m never ready to hear. It just happens.

Sometimes a blowjob’s not enough.Why can’t you play a little less rough.

Go ahead. Listen to the song. It’s all sweet and nice and innuendo. Then KAPOW. Blowjob.

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Living La Vida Luda

Here it is, late but as promised, life advice by Ludacris. And I mean legitimate advice, and not just what I think you should be doing in the bedroom (I’ve already covered that plenty). So if you’re looking for some inspiration to start the year, try the guy who will help you get some and be a better person.

And learning from my mistakes, try not to make ’em twice–just admitting when I’m wrong, trying hard to make it right.

Don’t you ever ask no questions that you really don’t want the answers to.

If you can’t take the heat then get the fuck out the kitchen.

But with God as my navigator I’ll be staying afloat.

And the future looks dim if we don’t get ourselves together.

They wanna talk to ya, so shut up and listen.

Don’t let these devils play you down or belittle your soul, just be happy with yourself and it’s so simple to grow.

Go strap your seatbelts on.

Don’t ever assume nothin.

People too picky these days damn it. Too tall, too short, too fat, too skinny. Have a couple of drinks and quit discriminating.

Cause life is short–if you don’t know this it’ll pass you by.

Power down your inhibitions and power up your inner freak.

And I won’t judge you ‘cause I know that ain’t nobody perfect, but you got some perfect imperfections and that makes you worth it.

Use your brain homie; do the right thing.

No matter how much older we get, man, we all still children at heart. We all make mistakes, it’s all good.

Clean in the workplace, dirty in the sheets.

Because you are who you are when nobody is looking.

Keep one eye open, cause the streets don’t sleep.

And baby, nobody’s perfect in this world of ours; there’s plenty people getting stitches in this world of scars. But over time, pray to God that he can heal your wounds, try to love and love again until they seal your tomb.

You might not agree with our views, but you had to respect ’em.

They like a little danger, and might not admit it, but they on for the chase and they want us to come and get it.

And use your dental floss.

Get through the agony and anger, the pain and strife, and take the necessary steps to try to change my life.

So in the sack talk to me, tell me what’s on your mind.

All lyrics are likely copyrighted to Ludacris, Island Def Jam, DTP, or whatever. Quoted from Child of the Night, B.O.T.S. Radio, What Them Girls Like, Do The Right Thang, Two Miles an Hour, One More Drink, Sex Room, Tell Me A Secret, Nasty Girl, I Do It for Hip Hop, Call Up The Homies, and Spur of the Moment.

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