On multiple occasions I have praised your ingenuity. Today, however, I question your logic, because these two selections are not related. How can I do it in public if I can’t get no?
Don’t Remind Me
It’s Sunday night. I’m lying in bed, reading Sherlock Holmes, drinking white wine, and listening to Pandora’s ‘Sex Therapy’ station. This, in itself, is wonderful. However, Pandora is mixing one hell of a night. It’s too bad this bed is so small and I’m the only one in it. I can’t say I’m planning on taking advantage of Pandora’s hotness, but in case you are, let me share this oh-so-sexy playlist for your next late-night rendezvous.
Yes, yes, yes.
In case I haven’t made this entirely clear since I started this blog: I’m not a big fan of the sugary sweet, emotional, PDA-type shit. Just don’t dig it.
But damn, I want to cuddle up with someone right now. Fuck you Pandora, Keith Sweat Radio, and Brian McKnight’s ‘Anytime.’
(712): So i thought john legend obsession was a sign of a cultural identity crisis in my life…but my first mix cds and tapes included: dmx, run dmc, nelly, jayz, chris rock, lil kim, biggy, da brat, and tyrese. AM I WHITE?
(917): Um I stole the Color Me Badd CD from my brother when I was 12. and I still haven’t given it back.
I kind of thought my obsession with John Legend was an identity crisis. Honestly, since getting into his music, I feel like that’s the only kind of stuff I listen to now… with a little Sinatra and Third Eye Blind mixed in there. Pandora: R&B/Soul station or John Legend Station. Radio: Pam G show and Adult Conversations with Doug and Dede. iTunes: John Legend, Ludacris, Common. I even hosted St. Louis during the Around the World Party last year, simply so I could drink Bud Light and wear a Band-Aid on my face like Nelly.
My last few roadtrips I’ve busted out some of my first mix CDs. Here is a pretty good summary of what they include: Let me Blow Ya Mind, What’chu Like, How Many Licks, Next Episode, Big Pimpin, Lately, Get Your Freak On, No Matter What People Say, Changes, No Sex in the Champagne Room, California Love, What These Bitches Want, Booty Bounce, Mo Money Mo Problems, Country Grammar, It’s Like That. Then also some Bon Jovi, Janet Jackson, O-Town, STP, Craig David, RHCP, Shaggy, No Authority.
I think the trend is evident. Perhaps this character trait (wrongly labeled identity crisis) was only recently realized thanks to John, but clearly it started in about the sixth grade.
Exactly what does this musical penchant say about me? I’ll interpret it thus:
I am a person who is not offended by misogyny, vulgarity, sexuality, or expletives. In fact, I tend to cross the line in most of these areas. I am attracted to people who are confident, and I too want to be confident and attractive. I am a sexual being. I appreciate poetry and the mastery of language (Don’t tell me these singers/rappers and songwriters aren’t wordsmiths. They can make anything rhyme, within any rhythm, and they’re always clever with their structure. Just listen to Ludacris’ Nasty Girl). I like to speak my mind, I rarely censor myself, and I want others to feel that they can act the same way.
Well, fuck. That’s not so bad.
I listened to non-stop soul/r&b stations on Pandora for a week while I did the baby names project. Alicia Keys, John Legend, Baby Face, Robin Thicke, Ne-Yo, Raphael Saadiq, Usher, John Mayer, Marvin Gaye… Listening to too much of that stuff is dangerous. It pretty much left me wanting to be in a relationship, or be heartbroken about one, or be getting back together with one, or not in one at all but having a sexy forbidden affair. Yikes. Thankfully I finished the project and returned to my apartment where my itunes computer (yes, I have two, one with itunes and one with Pandora) is not so sexually charged.
But listening to all that music and spending 22 days in Legend Lyric Land pointed out a tragic flaw in my character: I am never exactly ready when a guy does something “right.” Now, I’m not saying that it so rarely happens and guys never know what’s going on. Not at all true. But for all my hating on romance and happy endings and all things love, I always swoon when a guy does something I like. For instance, I find kisses on the forehead or top of the head to be the sexiest things ever. I’m always harboring an inward starry-eyed grin whenever a guy does that–even if it happened every day I would react that way. But that along with so many other things, like a guy saying he misses you just when you needed to hear it most, are the kinds of actions that I’m never ready for and I’ll always let my guard down. And if I’m not careful, that will come back to hurt me.
I’m blaming soul music for my sappy weakness. I’m also blaming it for this ad that appeared on my Facebook: