Tag Archives: playlist

Get Laid Before the World Ends

Hot sex with reckless abandon should be happening right now, before the Mayans’ prediction cockblocks us–permanently. What’s stopping you? Fuck the hangups and fuck everyone with this musical motivation.

Hey, the World is Ending, It’s Okay to Bone!
get motivated to make it happen while you still can

track one: don’t ask questions
Bedroom Dancing – Day One

She said, “Ask me no questions and
I’ll tell you no lies”
I said, “What about tomorrow?”
She said, “What about tonight?
Trust me baby, it’ll be alright”

track two: take a chance
Work Out – J Cole
So is life, take a chance roll a dice
Money can’t buy you love cause it’s over priced
Don’t overthink just hope it’s right
I’m only here for the night

track three: no time like the present
Quickly – John Legend/Brandy
I know we just met
But baby could you love me quickly, quickly?
I want you to love me
Like you know the world is about to end baby quickly

track four: this might be it for you
Red light special – TLC
Take a good look at it, look at it now
Might be the last time you’ll have a go round

track five: don’t think so hard
Lights Please – J Cole
And all the pain the world cause
She be healin’ that shit
And nah that ain’t your girl dog
But you be feelin’ that chick
And you just wanna tell her everything she might need
But in the mean time it’s lights please

track six: now or never
Save Tonight – Eagle Eye Cherry
Save tonight
And fight the break of dawn
Come tomorrow
Tomorrow I’ll be gone

track seven: for those in the friendzone
John Legend – Cross the Line
Girl, you’ve been my best friend, can we put this to bed then?
Tonight’s the night to cross the line, baby won’t you be mine?
Not just my homegirl, time that I take you home, girl
Tonight’s the night to cross the line, let me love you tonight

track eight: for the Catholics and churchgoers
Only The Good Die Young – Billy Joel
They say there’s a Heaven for those who will wait
Some say it’s better but I say it ain’t
I’d rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints
The sinners are much more fun

Sex! Just Do it!
get going already, everyone is doing it 

track one: that’s us
I.F.U. – Usher
I think sex is made for strangers

track two: no shame
Shut it Down – Drake/The Dream
But I refuse to feel ashamed
And if you feel the same
Does waiting really make us better people?
Take those fuckin heels off it’s worth it girl
Nothing is what I can picture you in
So take that fuckin’ dress off I swear you won’t forget me
You’ll be happy that you let me lay you down

track three: undebatable 
That’s What It’s Made For – Usher
Go on and hit it
That’s what it’s made for

track four: what’s the problem
Promiscuous – Nelly Furtado, Timbaland
You expect me to just let you hit it
But will you still respect me if you get it
All I can do is try, gimme one chance
What’s the problem I don’t see no ring on your hand

track five: it’s natural
Bad Touch – Bloodhound Gang
You and me baby ain’t nothin’ but mammals
So let’s do it like they do on the Discovery Channel

Do It! With Me!
super subtle messages to seal the deal

Get Up On It – Keith Sweat
My Body – LSG
I Can Tell You Wanna Fuck– 504 Boyz
Come Get With Me – Keith Sweat and Snoop Dogg
Take Me Now – Justin Timberlake
Pony – Ginuwine
Touch It –Monifa
Rock Your World – Justin Timberlake
Take Me Home Tonight – Eddie Money

Now, the logistics are up to you. If you’re interested in doubling back to an old joyride, take hints from John Mayer’s Who Says, Usher’s 2nd Round, and John Legend’s Another Again. They all agree, it’s pretty okay to re-bootycall. Looking for a fresh affair? Don’t be worried about her significant other: Ludacris (I Know You Got a Man) and Montell Jordan (Get It On Tonight) don’t really see the problem. Want to keep rawdogging it with the tried and true? Get it, girl. Think a hooker is a good (the only?) way to go? Pay it forward, man. I mean, shit…
We’re at world’s end here.

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URIV in TC, MN

It’s here. Finally. My Usher OMG Tour recap!

As expected, Usher put on quite the show, opening with a weird military-like entourage and then floating across the arena from the back. Other showy songs were “Mars vs Venus,” with strange white curtains, and the concluding number “OMG.” “Lil Freak” was very reminiscent of the video (monkey bars) and “You Make Me Wanna” had the same dance moves and chairs as that 90s classic video. My favorite, “Trading Places,” was less a musical number than a soft core porn.

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Usher did a lot more dancing than singing, which was not a surprise, although I admittedly didn’t anticipate it. I’ve never been to a show that’s that physical–Third Eye Blind and John Legend don’t exactly roll with choreography and backup dancers. But the dancing was fantastic, as were Usher’s abs, and I think my jaw pain that lingered for the next two days was as much from chewing one piece of gum the entire show as it was vigorously chewing that gum from subconscious sexual tension.

The MVP of the night, surprisingly, was AKON and his “hypeman” (so the eversosmart Whitney called him) who we affectionately named Kilthawk. This nickname derived from his kilt and matching vest (with a skinny tie, how classy) and mohawk. Their dance moves were outstanding and he sang many a quality jam: “Locked Up,” “Lonely,” “Smack That,” “I Wanna Love/*&$! You,” “Right Now (Na Na Na),” “Beautiful,” “Bartender” and the two show stealers “I Just Had Sex” and “Sexy Bitch.” For not expecting much going into AKON’s performance, it was a mind-blowing start to the show. And AKON is just smokin’ hot. 

Overall, it was a good night–topped with Lady Gaga and Justin Timberlake on SNL–and I’m very glad we went. Very glad, indeed.

Usher Performance List

  • [jumbled text to myself: ergo, no clue to first song]
  • She Don’t Know
  • Yeah!
  • U Remind Me
  • U Don’t Have To Call
  • You Make Me Wanna
  • Mars vs Venus
  • Nice and Slow
  • Love ’em All
  • Trading Places
  • Love in This Club
  • Lil Freak
  • Hot Tottie
  • There Goes My Baby
  • Let It Burn
  • Bad Girl
  • Daddy’s Home
  • [Michael Jackson dance tribute]
  • Confessions Part I
  • Confessions Part II
  • My Boo
  • I Need A Girl
  • Lovers and Friends
  • Caught Up
  • DJ Got Us Falling In Love
  • More
  • OMG

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Ode to Usher

The man does it all: club jams, slow jams, chart-toppers, seriously bad albums, Super Bowl appearances, and world tours. He also has it all: a killer body, unbeatable dance skills, a fragrance, and a protege that most sane people love to hate. [I got no fever.]

A week from today I will be writhing in pure euphoria thanks to Usher Raymond. In honor of this momentous occasion I am doling out my obviously significant opinion on all things musically Usher.

Best Album: Raymond V Raymond

Best Song: Trading Places

Best Lyrics: "You order Chinese food right before you do me." Trading Places

Best Advice: "Go on and hit it; that's what it's made for."

Best Dancing: Yeah!

Best little known song: Just Like Me

Best Video: Trading Places

Worst Album: Here I Stand [Interestingly, the album that produced Trading Places.]
Worst Song: This Ain’t Sex [See below.]
Worst Lyrics:  “We ain’t having sex/ We’re making moments that will outlast the world.” [See?]
Worst Advice: “Girl I forgot it, but we gon’ still get down like this.” [Babies and STIs are always good, thanks Ursh.]
Worst Dancing: [pfft. That’s not even a category for this man.]
Song that should have stayed unknown:
Papers [I just hate this song. So much.]
Worst Video: There Goes My Baby [Such a boring video for such a sexy song.]

Finally, for your ultimate enjoyment, I present the best-of playlist. It’s color-coded and organized to maximize pleasure (Prepin’ and drivin’; Clubbin’ and dancin’; Bumpin and grindin).

Usher Ultimate Playlist

  1. My Way
  2. Same Girl
  3. Guilty
  4. Pro Lover
  5. My Boo
  6. I Can’t Let U Go
  7. U Don’t Have To Call 
  8. Bad Girl
  9. Hey Daddy
  10. Nice & Slow Remix
  11. Red Light
  12. Hot Tottie
  13. What’s Your Name
  14. Lil’ Freak 
  15. So Many Girls 
  16. DJ Got Us Fallin in Love 
  17. YEAH 
  18. Love in this Club
  19. Just Like Me
  20. Lovers and Friends
  21. Nice & Slow
  22. Trading Places
  23. Making Love
  24. There Goes My Baby
  25. That’s What It’s Made For 
Whether you love him, hate him, or only acknowledge his existence when you’re four drinks in and droppin’ it like it’s hot–you have to give him props. He’s come a long way from that almost inappropriately sexy, horribly dressed teenager singing “My Way.”

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Another Good Playlist

I know, my last post was entirely unentertaining and about music. So shall this post be. But I’m working on a paper, havin’ a beer, and this mix from Pandora’s r&b/soul station is the jam.

Bump N’ Grind Old School Mix – R. Kelly
Keep Ya Head Up – Tupac
Blame It – Jamie Foxx
Let’s Stay Together – Al Green
So High – John Legend
Ain’t No Mountain High Enough – Marvin Gaye
Easy – The Commodores
The Light – Common
Until the End of Time – Justin Timberlake
Holla if Ya Need Me – Trey Songz
The Way – Jill Scott
Let Me Hold You – Bow Wow
Love in this Club – Usher
I need a Girl – Trey Songz
Can’t Let You Go – Fabolous

Also, just as a side note, I’m so glad no one is watching me when I write. I talk with my hands, and I write with them, too. Not just digits to the keys, but when I’m trying to think of a word or work out a really frustrating sentence I’m swimming through air and grasping at invisible things. That’s not even kind of cute.

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Sexiest men on my iPod

Come Wednesday, I have a long drive ahead of me. That means I have to seriously consider the tunes I’ll be rocking. In an effort to get in the right mindset for mix-making, here are the ten sexiest men on my iPod.

1. Stephan Jenkins Third Eye Blind
He aged fantastically and his voice is orgasmic.

2. Rob Thomas Matchbox Twenty
He’s so good live. His wife is hot. So is he.

3. Usher
He does stuff with that body I can’t even put in words.

4. Frank Sinatra

The ultimate crooner, yet total bad boy.

5. Justin Timberlake
I’ve got you–from NSYNC to FutureSex/LoveSounds.

6. John Legend
I think my multitudinous professions of love speak for themselves.

7. Taye Diggs
Oh heeeeey.

8. Rivers Cuomo Weezer
I {heart} nerds.

9. Neil Patrick Harris
That’s hot. And my iPod would be a sad place without Dr. Horrible.

10. Prince Phillip
Who can say no? He hasn’t aged a bit since 1959.

There’s nothing quite like the combination of a hot man and good music. Well, maybe a hot man, and good music sung by a hot man. There’s the winner.

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Solid Sunday

It’s Sunday night. I’m lying in bed, reading Sherlock Holmes, drinking white wine, and listening to Pandora’s ‘Sex Therapy’ station. This, in itself, is wonderful. However, Pandora is mixing one hell of a night. It’s too bad this bed is so small and I’m the only one in it. I can’t say I’m planning on taking advantage of Pandora’s hotness, but in case you are, let me share this oh-so-sexy playlist for your next late-night rendezvous.

  • Right and a Wrong Way, Mario
  • This Woman’s Work, Maxwell
  • Neighbors Know My Name, Trey Songz
  • Anonymous, Bobby Valentine
  • Hey Daddy, Usher
  • Falsetto, The-Dream
  • Jupiter Love, Trey Songz
  • Echo, R. Kelly
  • It’s Yours, J. Holiday
  • H.A.T.E.U, Mariah Carey
  • Sex Therapy, Robin Thicke
  • Like I Do, R. Kelly
  • Wanna Love U Girl, Robin Thicke
  • Read  Your Mind, Avant
  • Ordinary People, John Legend
  • So Beautiful, Musiq Soulchild
  • Cry Out For Me, Mario
  • Acension, Maxwell
  • Please, Anthony Hamilton
  • So Anxious, Ginuwine
  • Until the End of Time, Justin Timberlake
  • Trading Places, Usher

Yes, yes, yes.

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LEGENDary Night

Bad pun. I had to.

I’ve been putting off blogging about my John Legend experience (at least since I got home a few hours ago). Why? I have absolutely no idea. Maybe it’s because I don’t think I can verbally convey what I want to say. Or maybe because the further I get from the concert, the less amazing it seems.

I hate admitting that, but it’s true. When I think about when Matt and I saw Third Eye Blind two years ago, this can’t compare. Maybe because that was the first concert I’d gone to as an adult, and I was seeing my favorite band with my best friend and I was literally brought to tears because they played my favorite song. I mean that’s a pretty hefty combination to top, but I’ve been acquainted with them much longer than I have with John Legend. And although I have some fond memories of his tunes (an embarrassingly saccharine dance, a drunken McDonald’s excursion, and now the concert) I don’t know how that stands up to years of fanned anticipation.

But in terms of shows, it’s incredibly clear that John Legend’s is the best I have seen (including two lively Matchbox Twenty concerts and the big band stylings of the Brian Setzer Orchestra). While it’s not something as extravagant as a B.Spears Circus, it was pretty phenomenal. The man can sing the pants off of any straight woman and any mildly-interested-in-other-men man. Admittedly, he wasn’t as physically attractive as I’d pictured (his hair seemed different and he was skinnier than I anticipated). But he was soulful and his voice was sexy and he never stopped singing and he sang all of my favorites and he had flashy displays and rockin’ backup singers and and and…. clearly I don’t have anything bad to say. The show was just what I needed (and what Sarah and Whitney did, too, I think).

Informational Tidbits
-There was a woman directly two rows in front of me who was frequently jumping up, swaying, and shouting (in an awfully man-ish voice) things like “Oh yeah John! I feel you! Yeah John! John! Oh girl! Yeah. Uhhh.” This same person I almost murdered when she stood up and blocked my view during PDA.
-We were the minority there. But not for the reasons you are thinking. It was a pretty mixed crowd for being a man of soul. Instead, we were indeed among the youngest people in attendance, we had less cosmetic surgery (I swear I think I saw bona-fide lip implants), we wore less makeup, had on more clothes which were far too baggy, and we were part of a small percent of white girls who were not on the arm of a non-white man.
-Despite our not-so-fab seats–section R, row SS–we ended up titillating close to The Man. We were tipped off by a previous Legend-frequenter that he enters from the back. Check, we were definitely back. On our trek to the seats we passed an ominous glow-tape X. And there, when he entered, did he first stop and sing. ::sigh:: So close. I almost took the X off the floor and brought it home with me, but opted for an equally cheesy photo opp.
-The only other song I would have wanted to hear was Another Again.

Full Playlist
Redemption Song (cover)
Used to Love U
Alright
Satisfaction
It’s Over
Heaven
Quickly
Refuge (When It’s Cold Outside)
Let’s Get Lifted
Live It Up
In Your Shoes (single by his brother)
Slow Dance
PDA (We Just Don’t Care)
Number One
Save Room
Good Morning
I Can Change
I Want You (She’s So Heavy) (cover)
Everybody Knows
This Time
I Love, You Love
So High
Green Light
Ordinary People
Stay With You

This recap has proved the show has not lessened in amazingness since 11:00 last night. It’s just harder to share this kind of euphoria with someone who isn’t borderline obsessive, or who simply didn’t experience it.

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