Tag Archives: what a girl wants

WAGW: Relationships

After I wrote my intent of doing the WAGW series, ‘Relationships’ was my first post. I said it was “easy” and I listed three things I needed in order to be happy in a relationship.

What a joke. I deleted that post a month or so ago, mainly because what I wrote was immature. I still agree with what I wrote, then, about not wanting/needing a checklist of things to look for (income [ ], ring size [ ], hair color [ ], height [ ], family [ ], religion [ ], car [ ]). I think planning your perfect guy will only guarantee you’ll never find one.

What I do disagree with is not being smart about relationships. The important thing is to learn from experiences to find out what you want and deserve.

I want someone who thinks I’m sexy and beautiful.
I want someone who would be into doing random/spontaneous things with me.
I want to be the only person they are with. At least at the time.
I want someone who makes me feel comfortable with who I am.
I want to be friends with their friends. I don’t need to hang out all the time, but I’d like to know them. I’d like to be more than a name.
I want someone I can trust, and who trusts me.
I want someone who has passions and interests and can teach me about them.
I want someone who doesn’t make me question myself or my own worth.
I want someone who is okay with my quirks.
I want someone who is tolerant–not a homophobic, racist, sexist pig.
I want someone who forgives me.
I want to be in a relationship that isn’t needy. Space is good.
I want someone who understands that I like to be helpful.
I want to enjoy sex. A lot.
I want someone who is honest.

I’ve only had two ‘real’ relationships (if you don’t mind my using such a relative term), so this is by no means an exhaustive list. Nor should it be considered a list of demands. They are simply traits I’ve found desirous. Some I would waiver on (fine, if you really hate Harry Potter, I won’t bring it up around you), but some of them took a long time to learn, and I’m perfectly content sticking to my guns.

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WAGW: Education

As of two weeks ago, I’ve finished all but two grad school applications. I’m holding off on University College Dublin because their offers come much later than American universities. The University of Vermont is not due until February 15th, so I’ve been putting it off and considering not doing it at all.

The actual act of applying to graduate school did a lot to help me make up my mind about where I want to go. Reading program-specific materials got me psyched about what schools had to offer–or, in some cases, what they didn’t have. The personal statement writing process was tell-tale as well: if I didn’t try too hard on the essay, then I clearly wasn’t that interested in the school.

With everything more or less off my shoulders and into the admissions’ peoples’ hands, I present my rankings:

  1. Texas Tech
  2. Purdue
  3. Florida
  4. Brown
  5. Emerson
  6. UCD
  7. Florida State
  8. Washington State
  9. University of Vermont
  10. Marquette
  11. Syracuse

And now I wait. We’ll see if what this girl wants, is what this girl gets.

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WAGW: Geography

Today I finished my fourth college application. After Brown came Florida State, Texas Tech, and Syracuse. Friday I got a Christmas card from Australia. How fucking cool is that. It all got me thinking: Where does this girl want to be?

I call the Midwest home. The majority of my extended family is spread out between Iowa, Nebraska, South Dakota and Minnesota. And I love it here. But part of the reason for applying to graduate school is to get out of this place. I’m 23 and have no attachments, so why not try life somewhere else? Why not get this Iowan out of her comfort zone. See what she can do.

Surveying my grad school applications, it seems I favor the East Coast, then the South, followed by the Midwest, West Coast, and Europe. I beg to differ with that breakdown. East Coast seems to be in the right spot: I am insanely attracted to the sweatshirt-conducive weather and the beautiful green landscape. Plus, there are all kinds of fucking cool places out there, a few members of my family, magazines galore, and one of my favorite people in the world.

I think the South is what really throws me. I’m not naturally tan, I hate wearing swimsuits, and I don’t like humidity, guns, country music, spicy food or tight pants. Definitely not someplace I want to relocate without very persuasive reasoning (like, oh, getting into Texas Tech). I’ll say the same for the West Coast, with the rationale that I’m too uptight, I don’t surf, eat seafood or enjoy swimwear or celebrities.

As for Europe, I adore  it. But it is incredibly far from my family and I can’t think of a single logical reason to plant myself there…Save the fact it’s breathtakingly beautiful, has delicious food, sexy accents, and a lot of people who are as naturally un-tan as I am. I guess Europe is more of a romantic notion of mine.

But the point is, I’m hoping to go someplace new and different, wherever it is. Geography will only play a deciding factor if I get into all the grad schools I really don’t want to go to. Then I’ll pick by  latitude and longitude. And although I have my definite stereotypical Midwestern opinions, once I’m all educated and grown up, a job is ultimately what will pick my destination.

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WAGW: Careers

This is maybe the toughest question I have to answer, and it can’t be done today.

I am going to grad school for two reasons: I love literature, and there are no job prospects for me. I think it’s more of the latter than the former. See, if I had to choose between a magazine job and going to grad school, I would most likely pick the job. Despite my position as bitch-work-for-hire in the magazine world, I really like it. I enjoy keeping up with the PR for our mag, going on photo shoots, and of course, writing. If I could get a salary and benefits to do it? There’d be no stopping me.

But I’m not getting those jobs, and I’m not going to just sit on my ass and hope that things will change. Instead, I’m going back to the one constant in my life: school. Grad school will get me a current address outside Iowa, and force me to really live on my own for the first time in my life–which is reason enough to get my application on. But the question always is: what then? After one or two years in a master’s program, what do you want to do?

The answer: I don’t know. And damn it, I don’t have to, either! When I’m done, all I will be out is a large sum of money. But what I’m hoping to have, in return, is an idea of how to answer the question. Will I want to teach? Will I want to get a Ph.D? Will I go running back to magazines? Will I find myself at a literary journal (the best of both worlds)? Will I be selling Rosetta Stone at the mall?

I guess I’m answering a question with more questions, but I’ll have the answers eventually. For now, I’m hoping grad school will give me a little bit more of a glimpse into my future–and I’ll be crossing my fingers that, in the meantime, the freelance writing doesn’t have to end with a geographic relocation.

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What a Girl Wants

Is a Slim 6 with chips and a drink, please and thank you.

It has recently come to my attention that I need to figure my shit out. Almost twice daily I get asked, “What do you want?” The questions are about life, graduate school, work and relationships. I answer “I don’t know” to every single one of them. Sometimes, I don’t even know what I don’t want.

This. Is. Alarming. I am dangerously close to becoming “the girl who had so much potential” when she graduated. (Actually, I don’t think the Journalism school would give me any credit, but Arts and Sciences might back that statement up).

Since I am not exactly ready to answer the “What do you want?” question, I am going to explore what factors play into what I do (and do not) want, in a series of posts. Because, let’s be honest,  no 23-year-old wannabe-grad-student should be so damn unsure about everything but her Jimmy John’s order.

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